HARRY POTTER vs TWILIGHT!
by RandomUser674
Summary: .ON HIATUS. Get ready for the ultimate showdown! Characters from opposite worlds collide! Don't miss it! I'm using too many exclimation points! AHHHHHHH! R&R!
1. Aro & Voldemort

**Okay, so we've been thinking about what to write and based on your reviews, voila! Thus came the birth of TWILIGHT vs. HARRY POTTER!!! Read and review, as always. Flames will be ignored. Get ready for the first showdown: Aro vs. Voldemort!**

Aro and Voldemort

The chatter was going to drive Voldemort insane. He'd recently been in Italy, supervising the recruitment of a group of werewolves for his campaign, when he'd inadvertently stumbled upon a rather _unique_ city with a rather _interesting_ ruling family. And evidentially the Volturi of Volterra had found him interesting as well. Well, one in particular. Aro had been so _interested_ that he'd followed Voldemort home, all the way back to England. He'd had no idea how annoying vampires could be.

He'd just returned from the Department of Mysteries where the maddening Harry Potter had foiled his plans. Again. His mood wasn't improved by the inane chattering of one Aro of Volterra.

"Well, maybe if you'd concentrated on the prophecy instead of personal vendettas against a fourteen year old boy, that wouldn't have happened." mumbled Aro condescendingly. He watched as Voldemort paced back and forth, and seemed delighted the mounting rage his remarks were causing the wizard.

"He's sixteen, for your knowledge. And_ you_ haven't seemed to be able to solveyour problems with that human girl _you've_ been ranting about." said Voldemort in retaliation. It seemed to have the desired affect as Aro glared at him with obvious anger.

"Well she's _eighteen_ and _she_ has two whole supernatural families protecting her!"

"So? _You_ have an entire army! Besides, Harry has the whole school _and_ the Order protecting him!"

"Well you have those Death Eaters! But then, they're not really much better than cowering idiots, are they?"

"What did you just say?!"

"At least _I_ have a proper army! Not like you're ragtag group of sorry recruits!"

Voldemort halted in mid-stride, and whirled to face him, murder in his eyes. Aro looked back coolly.

"And you're not even properly immortal are you? Not at all like me; I've been ruling for nearly a thousand years."

"Excuse me?" Voldemort replied, his voice dangerously soft. "Can't you be easily killed with fire?"

Aro seemed unaware of Voldemort's sudden change of tone, and replied smugly, "No one would be able to vanquish _me _in battle. Besides, haven't you already been beaten by a one year old boy?"

Suddenly the rage that had been simmering in Voldemort for hours burst into a boil. Without warning, he drew his wand.

"INCENDIO!" he bellowed as Aro erupted in a column of fire. When he turned away, he left nothing but a pile of fine, white ash behind him.

_If only everyone was that easy to kill,_ he thought with a smirk.

**Harry Potter: 1 **

**Twilight: 0**


	2. Jasper & Lucius

Jasper and Lucius

Lucius Malfoy was strutting down the streets of London, casually flipping his hair as he walked. He loved strutting. Walking was so boring. So bland. Walking, like everything in life, Lucius decided, needed spice. Hence, the strutting. It was like soup, he decided. Without spice, it would not be very good. It would be bland, tasteless, and horrible.

Lucius flipped his hair once more as he passed a store selling clothes. Muggle clothes. Muggle clothes were like bland soup. No spice. Robes, however, were like the spiciest soup ever.

Lucius ran a hand through his silky, flowing hair. He had shampooed and conditioned it twice already. Once when he woke up, and once before lunch. He was due for another shampooing at three o' clock. He flipped his hair, and it caught the sunlight, which made it shine and shimmer. A lady dropped dead beside him, blinded by the shimmering hair. Lucius smiled with glee.

But quite suddenly, as he was passing a small, barely lit pub, he saw someone through the window. It was a young man, who appeared to be in his late high school years, or Hogwarts years, depending on his blood. He was strangely beautiful, but, unfortunately, in a very feminine way. He appeared to be in pain as he took a sip of some red liquid. Lucius gasped, and dashed to the window, careful not to get too close to the glass so his hair would not cling and become staticky. The teenage boy had beautiful hair! It was blond and soft and fluffy, and fell in soft waves. However, it wasn't long and could not be flipped.

Lucius' eyes narrowed. _How can he have better hair than me? I made the Hair Care Oath! _Lucius cleared his throat, and recited it once more to remind himself of his dedication to his hair, "On my honor, I will try, to care for my hair, and help my hair at all times, and live by the Hair Care Law." Feeling slightly better, he returned his attention to the boy in the pub.

The boy was standing up, finished with his drink. He exited the pub.

Thinking quickly, Lucius decided to confront him.

"Excuse me," Lucius said. "But you have very lovely hair."

"Why thank y--" the boy began, but he was interrupted when Lucius snarled, "_Too _lovely."

"Come into the sun," Lucius said, and the boy hesitantly obeyed.

Lucius planned for his hair to catch the light, blinding the boy, but was unpleasantly surprised when the boy sparkled! Yes! Sparkled! Lucius looked at the sparkles, which were shimmering too brightly, and, feeling intimidated, he died, never to care for his hair again.

**Harry Potter: 1 **

**Twilight: 1**


	3. Jasper & Draco

Jasper and Draco

Draco Malfoy was strutting through the streets of London. He was twenty years old, and had just graduated from Hogwarts the previous year. In that time, he had gotten a well paying job in the Ministry, after an oath of loyalty to the Good Side. Still, he secretly practiced torturing rabbits in his basement, as he was forbidden from torturing humans by the oath. It could be infuriating at times, when he wanted no more than to shoot a simple _"Crucio!"_ at his boss at work, but he held his anger in, and had been going to weekly therapy sessions with a lady named Doctor Phyllis.

Anyway, Draco was on his way to a date with his new girlfriend in a fancy restaurant in London. He had planned on getting her a gold necklace with her name engraved on it, but had to decide against it when he realized he had forgotten her name. _Ah, well, _he thought to himself, _we haven't been dating that long anyway. Only seven months._

He passed a family of Muggles, and paused to sneer at them.

"Mummy," he heard the little boy whisper, "who is that man sneering at us?"

"Come along now, children, we better hurry along," the woman said, shooting Draco a hateful glare as she hurried her children away.

Draco rolled his eyes but continued walking down the road, when he saw a crowd of people gathered in the center of the road. Puzzled, and not really wanted to eat at the fancy restaurant his girlfriend wanted to eat at, he walked over toward the crowd. Not caring for courtesy, he shoved his way to the front.

There stood a blonde young man with oddly pale skin and the strangest color eyes, looking distressed and shocked and ashamed, bending over a body. _Who could it be?_ Draco wondered. He shoved past a few more people to get a better look. He nearly fainted when he saw who it was.

_"Father?!" _Draco gasped in shock.

The young, blond man turned around to face Draco and his gold eyes widened.

"Th-this was your father?" he said, appearing to be shocked.

"Yes, it was," Draco nodded.

"I am terribly sorry," he said. "I didn't know what happened. I was merely walking along, just coming out of the pub, when he approached me. He commented on my hair, and next thing I know he was swinging his hair and he simply...dropped dead just before the clouds came in." He pointed to the gray sky.

"Well then," said Draco, pursing his lips. "You know what I'm going to do with you then, don't you?"

"Excuse me? I said it was an accident!" the blond boy said.

"Oh I know that," Draco said, "but that's no excuse...."

"Please! I am prepared to fight!" the blond person said in a wavering tone.

"Fight?" Draco frowned, puzzled. "I came to thank you! I've never been so pleased in my life! Not since I finally figured out my past girlfriend's name! Thank you kind stranger!"

The boy person looked puzzled.

"Well, my name is Jasper."

"Good to know." said Draco before he strutted away happily.

**STILL:**

**Harry Potter: 1 **

**Twilight: 1**


	4. Mike & Ron

Mike and Ron

Mike had been bored lately. Bella was married, Jessica was actually an illegal alien and had left to go back to Pluto, and he was out of people to stalk. But hope came one fine morning as he was leaving to go to his job. He looked into the uncharacteristically clear sky and saw a flying Ford Angela soar above his head and crash into an abandoned building that was conveniently located next to where he was standing. He ran towards it as a redheaded man stepped out of the wreckage, unscathed.

"Bloody hell, what am I gonna do?" the man was angrily muttering to himself. "I promised Hermione I wouldn't total this car again!"

Hermione? The famous British supermodel? Mike was momentarily distracted from the fact that a car had been FLYING by pictures of the lovely woman flowing through his mind.

The man had noticed Mike standing next to him. "OI! What do you think you're doing?! Sneaking up on people like that, you bloody stalker!"

And just like that, Mike knew he'd found the perfect solution to his boredom...

* * *

**A bit short, no? Sorry.**


	5. Jacob & Ginny

Jacob and Ginny

"HOLY CRAP!!!" screamed Jacob as he plummeted through the darkness. What the hell had just happened?! He'd been sitting in his closet, crying about the loss of his true love to the bloodsucker. He'd heard a loud CRASH! and came out to see a brick thrown through his window. The brick was labeled PORTKEY in black marker. He'd picked it up and then he'd been whirling through darkness. As suddenly as the darkness had come, it had stopped. He opened his eyes. He appeared to be sitting on a bed. The bed had gold and scarlet sheets. _Where the hell am I?_ he thought.

A girl walked into the room, apparently not noticing Jacob sitting on her bed. She had flaming red hair, and a fiiiiiiine butt that he... wait, he loved Bella, right?

The redhead finally noticed him and screamed, "PEEPING TOM!!!!" She brandished a stick at him. "Who the bloody hell are you and why are you on my bed?!" she demanded.

"I'm Jacob Black and I DON'T KNOW HOW THE F*** I GOT HERE!! AND WHAT'S WITH THE STICK?!"

The redhead looked confused. "Stick? What? How do you not know...You're a _MUGGLE?!?!_"

Jacob was utterly bewildered. "What's a Muggle? WHERE AM I?!" He was getting so angry. He felt like he would explode.

And explode he did. Into a werewolf.

"RAWR, I"M SCARY!!!" growled Jacob.

The redhead screamed. She bolted out the door screaming bloody murder.

"BLOODY MURDER!!! BLOODY MURDER!!!"

Little did they know, Jacob and Ginny would have many more...um, interesting...encounters in the future...


End file.
